Em oi! #358: Kiss Me Deadly

Arguably, Batman should be on this list somewhere.

You can click to embiggen this, though I’m not sure why you’d want to, it’s already so large.

I have kind of a love-hate relationship with superhero comics. I really enjoy the frequent assertion that just having immense power, muscles, intelligence, etc., doesn’t make life a smooth sail–Spiderman may be able to defeat Doc Ock, but he can’t ask Mary Jane to the prom, and good luck Clark Kent getting Lois to look at you instead of Superman. Bruce Wayne may be quite a catch, but when a lady realizes her boyfriend is spending his nights driving around town with a young lad in a sports car, well, maybe she begins to think the romance is gone. The stuff that makes superhero comics interesting, in short, isn’t what makes them super, but what makes them human.

The Authority was a comic that attracted my attention in about 2005 or 2006 because it turns a lot of common comics tropes on their heads. It’s about a group of super heroes (Jenny Sparks/Jenny Quantum, Jack Hawksmoor, the Engineer, the Doctor, Swift, Apollo, and the Midnighter) in the style of the Justice League who live on an interdimensional space craft and save the planet frequently. Instead of having secret identities and living normal lives when they’re off duty, the Authority act like rock stars, getting drunk, getting laid, using drugs, going to parties, showing off…basically exactly what you might act like if you had super powers. They are quite violent and often act like they are above the law, including interfering in global politics (one issue shows them forcing the Chinese to withdraw from Tibet, among other things, and at one point they take over the US government as a junta). Their basic strategy is not something along the lines of, “Humanity needs to be protected from alien threats so it can reach its full potential,” (a la Superman), but more like “We know what’s best for you.” Needless to say, this doesn’t always work out.

Anyway, they have several female team members who are real members of the team and not just along to balance out the demographics, and also two gay men who happen to be an early gay superhero marriage, as I mention above. I can’t over-emphasize though, the Authority was always, if not badly drawn then really unevenly drawn, and after Ellis left the writing was pretty uneven too. The Midnighter later got his own comic which was entertaining if you enjoy watching people kick the heads off Nazis, for example.

And in some ways, that last paragraph encapsulates what I dislike about superhero comics: frequently badly (and unrealistically) drawn, in a style I find very difficult to replicate, with uneven writing, few realistic female characters, few characters of any ethnicity other than Caucasian, and terrible plots. I would hardly be original to observe that many comic artists draw female characters as though they’d never really seen a woman before, but as a woman I have to say that tendency bothers me. But while doing some reference drawings of Apollo last night, I realized the male musculature is just as abnormal.

I’ll class this comic under PN6232.C6116 L86 2012, for Collections of general literature—Wit and humor—Collections on special topics, A-Z—Comic books, strips, etc.

And here as a bonus is the first comic I ever did with Superman in it:
For better or for awesome

I remember when I drew this, I knew my actual wedding dress was going to be red, so I drew the dress in the comic blue to throw everyone off. This was totally important at the time.

Filing this one retrospectively under: P96.S94 L86 2009, for Philology. Linguistics—Communication. Mass media—Special aspects—Other, A-Z—Superman—General works.

Em oi! #357: Right-Wing TV Shows I’d Like to See

Later, Angry Foetus Ghost can have his own spin-off, titled "Master Bones Goes to Washington."

Click to view full-size.

So this took a long time to draw, mainly because I had to write two twenty-page papers over the last two months, so although this was sketched out as of the 5th of March, I finally finished coloring it…two days ago. Hopefully in the coming weeks I will be back to a more normal comic schedule, at least for the summer. That schedule will be Mondays. If I start getting really ambitious and post on Fridays too, I’ll let you all know.

This comic started when the Republicans started their little war on women in March because I was so angry about the increasingly negative atmosphere in which we are living here in the US. Then, before I finished, the movie “October Baby” came out. I feel a bit weird about that, though I think Master Bones in “All My Abortions” (also known as “Screaming Foetus Man”) is in fact more entertaining than the conceit for that film. He may actually be my favorite one-off character I’ve drawn for the strip, on par with the cussing teddy bear from #303. My dear aunt, who visited while the comic was in its final stages, mentioned the “old maid” should look like Miss Havisham. And of course she should, except I don’t know what Miss (Ms.) Havisham looks like, exactly, and also I wanted to do a TV show with a person of color in it, because seriously everyone on TV is white and it makes me want to die.

Anyway it struck me that people seem to think that women who have had abortions (or, per the Republicans, used birth control) should suffer for it in some way. Even a lot of people who say that they are pro-choice seem to think this at times, like sometimes they think it is okay to get an abortion but sometimes you should have to live with your mistakes. This is a very problematic viewpoint in a lot of ways, and maybe disingenuous, because it pretends that some abortions happen for convenience whilst others have “real” reasons, when in fact there are always “real” reasons–the woman in question cannot have the child (this could be anything from monetary considerations to the child having disabilities such that it couldn’t live past birth). So that’s what I was thinking while I did the first set of three…then the next two sets flowed from that. A number of people have said the third (“Trial by Ordeal”) is their favorite. Dear readers, which do you prefer?

Typically I hate the term “old maid” because I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being, you know, unmarried (and over thirty, perish the thought).  But it seemed appropriate here somehow.

I think that’s about all I have to say about this. There are a few other references that my readers may recognize.

This one is filed under HE8689.7.P6 L86 2012, for Transportation and communication—Telecommunication industry. Telegraph—Broadcasting. Radio and television broadcasting—Special topics, A-Z—Political broadcasting.

Em oi! #356: Passersby were amazed

Clearly this is satire.  In reality they only got Marburg.

You can click to embiggen slightly. The panel second from the end (the fourth or seventh panel, depending on how you are counting) was designed by Bryan.  I owe him considerable thanks for help on this comic generally.  Also the final panel might be one of my favorites ever.

I have so much to write that I’m not going to write, because now I’ve got to go do some homework and go to bed. That is very much a summary of my life over the past several weeks, and I can only hope that it will get better during spring break next week and I might be able then to write something.

We’ll file this one under QH545.C78 L86 2012, for:
Biology (General)—Ecology—Influence of special factors in the environment—Special, A-Z—Cruise ships.

If you’re into Twitter, you can follow me at @pretense_soup. I personally find Twitter to be like a giant party where everyone is shouting witticisms at each other as loudly as possible–in other words, intimidating, so I don’t tweet frequently. But I assure you that when I do they are naught but the ripest, freshest, wittiest tweets available. So you should follow me.

For more on cruises:

Lupton, E. H. “Our Honeymoon–A Recap, parts 1-3.”  Em oi!, no. 308, 10-12 April 2010. Retrieved from Part 1/3, Part 2/3, Part 3/3.

Ronson, Jon. “Rebecca Coriam: Lost at Sea.” The Guardian, November 11, 2011. Retrieved from http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/nov/11/rebecca-coriam-lost-at-sea?CMP=twt_gu.

Wallace, David Foster. “Shipping Out: On the (Nearly Lethal) Comforts of a Luxury Cruise.” Harper’s Magazine, January 1996, 33-56. Retrieved from http://harpers.org/media/pdf/dfw/HarpersMagazine-1996-01-0007859.pdf target=”_blank”.

Em oi! #355: Sports Medicine

I'm smooth.

This is not the first comic about me fainting in public. I’m not writing this from home, so I’ll have to update this post later on tonight with the previous one. At any rate, this happens periodically (at least two major times since I’ve known B., every couple of years before then, and a few other times where I started to pass out but then managed to stave it off). I don’t know why it happens–I can tell you that the technical name is “syncope,” which as a word sounds delightfully Victorian, like “apoplexy.” I can also say that from my research, it’s either something or it’s nothing. But it’s such a vague symptom I think it would only annoy a doctor to try to get it checked out. SO. I promised B I would get it checked out if it happened for a third time within six months (I had a dizzy/nearly passed out episode in October, so I guess I’m safe after next month).

Let’s file this one under RB150.S9 L86 2012 for
Pathology—Manifestations of disease—Other manifestations of disease, A-Z—Syncope.

While I was working on this post, I started looking around for the last comic I drew about my syncope. I couldn’t find it (it must be on the computer I haven’t checked; I’ll set it up this weekend and pull it off). But I did find the best comic I’ve ever drawn:

Eine Kleine Chaos Musika

We’ll file this retrospectively under PN56.A24 L86 2008 for
Literature (General)—Theory. Philosophy. Esthetics—Relation to and treatment of special elements, problems, and subjects—Other special—Topics, A-Z—Absurdity.

Finally, here are three photographs: two of my new haircut (taken by B) and one of my dog.

Em oi! Vacation comics, days 7-11

The last batch! All are filed under Drawing. Design. Illustration–Caricature. Pictorial humor and satire–Special subjects, A-Z–Vacations.

The monkey on my back is a monkey.

Transcription:
Guy: Is she your sister or your daughter?
Em: Sister-in-law.  She’s 16…exactly how old do you think I am?
Vacation, day 7: Getting Personal in Roatan. (NC1763.V3 L86 2012c)

"A short drink of water" was not my high school nickname.

Transcription:
Em: Why do I gotta walk my ass all over this goddamn boat and no one gives me any ice water *!?#@~~

Vacation, day 8: The cold worsens. (NC1763.V3 L86 2012d)

High Performance Athlete

Transcription:
Em: I keep wondering how one body can produce so much mucus.
B: Well, you’re a high-performance athlete.
Em: I’m pretty sure that’s not what that means.

Vacation, day 10: I will never be healthy again. (NC1763.V3 L86 2012e)

This is, I think, my favorite of all of these.

flying home

Vacation, day 11: Never get on a plane with a headcold. (NC1763.V3 L86 2012f)
Well, that was a trip. Getting these little comics ready took a lot longer than I thought it would.

Here’s the picture of me that Sam was taking in the day 7 comic:

Hey hey we're the--nevermind.

For more vacation comics, check Part 1 and Part 2.

Em oi! Vacation, day 4

Cezanne Rolls Over in his Grave

It is hard not to observe that the average American these days enjoys a good meal. Food is everywhere, cookbooks are bestsellers (despite the demise of cooking), and there are even two full cable networks devoted to cooking shows. Cruises, as the phenomenal Dave Barry has pointed out, exacerbate the problem, since there’s an actual rule that you cannot be on a cruise ship and not eating. Still, when I get stuck standing in line for a sandwich behind a man who is in his left hand holding the crust of a pizza he just finished consuming before lumbering up to the deli window to order something with extra cheese and extra mayo. And then, before leaving the window, to see the man just leave the pizza crust on the counter instead of turning around and putting it in the waste basket five feet behind him. Well, I start to feel a little snappish toward other human beings.

It’s true.

This particular cruise had all of the rooms named for Impressionist painters. I am damned if I know why. All of the Impressionists were male and white, of course; the only room named after a woman was the Cassatt Lounge and no one went in there. That was weird. The restaurant on the Lido deck (the buffet) was named The Cezanne. It had this painting hung several times on its walls:

Lady in Blue, 1899

That was weird because it was hung at irregular intervals, as though the decorator of the ship had assumed that either no one would notice that there were several iterations of the painting or perhaps was unable to get more than three different Cezanne paintings to cover the entirety of the large room, thus necessitating the repetition. Bryan and I, working on our various projects, sat at a table for an hour or so and contemplated the judgmental features of this particular lady.

This comic is filed under: NC1763.V3 L86 2012b, for Drawing. Design. Illustration–Caricature. Pictorial humor and satire–Special subjects, A-Z–Vacations.  For more comics from this trip, check out: Vacation, Day 1.

To finish things up, here is another photo. This one was taken in Mexico, but I guess it could have been about anywhere. It reminds me of an important principle in my photography, which is that photographs tend to turn out better if I get as close as possible to the subject. Also, they turn out better if I use autofocus, since my poor eyesight means that I sometimes manually focus the lens into fuzziness. Oops.

Some kind of flower

Em oi! Vacation–day 1

เขาหาทุกกระเป๋าใบใบไป
The TSA guy let me mail the knife back to myself. This is a service provided by the old ladies at the customer service and information desk at the airport in Milwaukee. They buy the envelopes, take enough to cover postage, and drop the packages off on their way home after work. I have nothing mean or sarcastic to say about the people at MKE. They were super nice and classy. Also there is a Recombobulation Area at the airport.

Do these neuroses make me feel fat?

UGH. So this happens sometimes with stretch denim I guess? I had a (really new) pair of jeans go when I was in Baltimore in October. I guess I’m going back on my diet for now.

Thanks, Delta.
The flight wouldn’t have been SO bad, except that at 21:00 (9pm) my 12-hour cough syrup wore off, so the last three hours of travel were all spent coughing my lungs out. Super lame. After we got to our hotel (about 1:00am) we called a nearby greasy spoon and got greasy, greasy food delivered to us. And we ate it while sitting on the carpet and watching the Discovery Channel. And then we slept for like ten hours, except for me because I woke up coughing at 8am and went for a run.

These are a couple of comics I drew on day one of our trip.  I’ll have some more as the week goes on–it turns out they take a fair amount of time to clean up, since I sketched them freehand in pen.  We’ll file them under NC1763.V3 L86 2012, for Drawing. Design. Illustration–Caricature. Pictorial humor and satire–Special subjects, A-Z–Vacations.

Here’s a photograph which I took with my new camera. I think it is one of the best I have taken of late.
Hey hey we're the monkeys...
It’s at least half not me though–it’s hard to get a bad photo of Sam (my sister-in-law).

Em ơi! #354: The First Tragedy of the 21st Century

Stay Classy, DPRK

File under DS932 .L86 2011, for History of Asia—Korea—Democratic People’s Republic, 1948-—General Works.

Considering how obsessed I have been with North Korea over the past couple of years, I am a little surprised that I haven’t drawn any comics about Kim Jong-il before. I did find this one about Kim Il-sung I drew about three years ago:

Juche

File this one under DS932 .L86 2009.


If you’re looking for a good book on the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, or North Korea as it’s typically known here in the West, I recommend:

Martin, Bradley K. Under the Loving Care of the Fatherly Leader: North Korea and the Kim Dynasty. N.P.: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2006.
–At over 800 pages, an exhaustive look at the Kim personality cult.

Myers, B. R. The Cleanest Race: How North Koreans See Themselves – And Why it Matters. New York: Melville House, 2010.
–In many ways a refutation of everything Martin claims, this book is both short and immensely readable.

Church, James. A Corpse in the Koryo. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2006.
–A brilliant little pot-boiler of a mystery written by a guy who gives Raymond Chandler a run for his money. Allegedly very accurate with regards to DPRK society.

As a warning, a lot of defector memoirs have, uh, cannibalism. A lot of it.

I’m leaving on vacation tomorrow (Thursday) and won’t be back until the beginning of 2012, so have a good Saturnalia without me. I’m off to spend Hanukkah in Santa Monica (well, New Orleans and points south, but that doesn’t rhyme).

While we’re talking about books, here’s what I’m reading:

  1.   Potocki, Jan. The Manuscript Found in Saragossa. New York: Penguin, 1996.
  2.   Winichakul, Thongchai. Siam Mapped: A History of the Geo-body of a Nation. Honolulu: University of Hawai’i Press, 1997.
  3.   Mattson, Ingrid. The Story of the Qur’an: Its History and Place in Muslim Life. Malden, MA: Blackwell, 2008.

(All links provided for ease of reference only; I am not receiving any kick-backs from Amazon.)

I feel very diverse. What are you reading this winter, anything good? If you have recommendations, feel free to leave them. I do so love hearing about what people are reading.

Em oi! #353: Dog Dreams

Very grammatical.

I should have one more comic this week. Then I’ll be on vacation until January.

This is based on an actual dream of Bryan’s. It wasn’t that the dog was speaking which surprised him, but that the dog had started using appositives.  But then again, she did receive an honorary DFA for her first birthday, so maybe we shouldn’t be surprised when she begins to use advanced grammatical structures.

File this one under: BF1099.L35 L86 2011, for Parapsychology–Dreaming–Special topics, A-Z–Language and Languages.

Em ơi! #352: Open to Interpretation

Someday I'll stop picking on Derrida.

Bryan tells me that this comic reminds him of #303: Playing it Safe. I think the swearing teddy bear is still one of his favorite characters. It reminds me of the previous one I did with Derrida and his cat (I can’t seem to find ANY of the Derrida ones offhand. Weird.)

I will tell you something about the last panel: When I started looking up female philosophers, I noticed that 2/5 of them (Hypatia and Tullia) had nude portraits on their Wikipedia pages.  I’ve never seen a nude painting of any male philosopher, including Socrates, who was a dirty old man and totally asking for it.  If you want to know what society values in a woman, there it is.  Hypatia: Mathematician.  Philosopher.  Astronomer.  Naked.

Seriously, I can count on one hand the number of female philosophers I read (Philippa Foot was the major one) and on zero hands the number of pre-20th century female philosophers I read.  That’s kind of screwed up.

Anyway, enough of that.

This comic is filed under NX652.P47 L86 2011 for Arts in general–Characters, persons, classes of persons, and ethnic groups–By name of character, person, class of persons, or ethnic groups A-Z–Philosophers.