Em ơi! #332: I Think He’s Serious

"Maybe we can go to Cold Stone and I can just...stand outside and inhale..."

In the last panel there, B is actually making fun of me–that’s something I would say.  He has never shown any concern for what he eats in conjunction with how much or how little he runs.

EDIT: So originally I had the above sentence phrased differently.  B protests that he does care about staying svelte, which is why he runs several times per week with me, lift weights, and so on.  Which is totally fair — I don’t mean to imply that he’s a slouch or not fit or something.  He’s quite fit.  Mm.

Sorry.  I got distracted.  Anyway, my point was not that he is unfit or spends his entire life eating frosting out of a canister with a spoon (which is something I have possibly done in the middle of a sugar craving, ugh), but that he doesn’t freak out when he eats too many sweets.  If I eat a lot of candy, I feel like I have to run more to run it off.  He just shrugs and eats less the next day.  Both systems work in terms of weight maintenance…but his is definitely more relaxing.  So that is how he’s making fun of me.  He’s not a monster or anything.

Anyway, I found it amusing.

Things that count as “candy”: ice cream/frozen yoghurt, candy, chocolates, flavored syrup that goes in coffee, granola bars that have chocolate chunks in them, honey-roasted peanuts, sugar-coated pastries such as cupcakes or donuts or chocolate-chip muffins.

Things that don’t count as candy: sugar or hot cocoa mix in my morning coffee or afternoon tea (I need sugar and milk to drink coffee, and without coffee I cannot function, probably.  And Bryan said he would move out.), cough drops, dried fruit.

Today is actually day two of this experiment.  It runs until the end of the day Sunday (meaning “when I go to bed”).  I drew this picture to indicate how the first two days have been:

"Meh."I had a presentation today that was quite terrifying (I hate presentations generally, that’s why I want to be a novelist and sit in a cafe and not talk to people).  Most of my energy has been directed toward that and not to thinking about the sugar I am missing out on.  I notice I want some (for example, I usually have a small sweet after dinner, and I missed that today), but it isn’t overwhelming.  Since I still get sugar in my coffee, I don’t feel totally deprived.

I probably won’t have dramatic weight loss (all the running means my weight fluctuates a lot depending on my hydration), but maybe I can restructure my diet to have fewer cookies and more apples.  Not a terrible idea.

This comic is filed under TX553.S8 L86 2010, for (you ready for this?):

Home economics–Nutrition.  Foods and food supply–Examination and analysis.  Composition.  Adulteration–Dietary studies, food values, experiments, tests, etc.–Special constituents, A-Z–Sugar

LCC almost never fails.  Amazing.

Am I the only one who does crazy experiments-of-one like this?

Em ơi! #331: Keeping Fear Alive

"Odontophobia" is the pathological fear of dentists.So while I was driving to Barriques I heard a song on the radio.  The only lyrics I understood were “You could be a G.”  The rest of the song was in Hindi (or I assume it was Hindi).  If that is gangsta rap in India I am all for it, it was quite good.

No, okay.  I’ll tell you what you want to know: Four cavities.  Me.  Tomorrow.  So I did this comic in advance because maybe I won’t survive?  And Bryan is working the night shift out in VA, so I wanted to give him something to amuse him.

I’m not exactly afraid of dentists per se.  I’m just not fond of them.  And afraid of whirring tools in my mouth.  And afraid of pain.  When I went for my first checkup in a number of years two weeks ago, the dentist and the hygienist were trading quips about how difficult two of the cavities were going to be to fill.  That was really reassuring.  Bryan just said, “Dentistry isn’t scary.  It’s warm and fuzzy.”  I’ve been repeating this to myself like a mantra.

It is weird having to amuse myself all day and night.  Not that I am complaining about the ability to get up when I want without someone suggesting that it is too damn early and maybe I should come back to bed, but the evening does get a bit lengthy and dull.  I spent three episodes of the Daily Show/Colbert Report drawing the comic.  Then I realized it was only seven, and what the hell do I do with myself for the rest of the night?

That’s a rhetorical question.  The answer is “Go to a cafe to write overly dramatic blog posts and not do work.”

This comic is filed under RK60 .L86 2010, for Dentistry–Dentistry as a profession.  Dental hygiene as a profession–General works.  Although there is a “fear of doctors” heading, there’s no heading for fear of dentists.  Apparently all the headings contain the fear.

If you are bored and you want to see some of the hundreds of photos I take (well not really, but I take quite a few photos), you can check out my flickr site.  I will try to keep adding stuff for your amusement if you do.

Em ơi!#330: Of Writerly Texts

Lit crit jokes!  Awesome!I was going to color this a little more, but then I couldn’t find my markers and I got caught up in some little crises (related to the drafts of two papers which were/are due this past week), and I decided to just go with it.

In case you were curious, this is what Barthes says about writerly texts:

There may be nothing to say about writerly texts.  First of all, where can we find them?  Certainly not in reading…: the writerly text is not a thing, we would have a hard time finding it in a bookstore.  Further, its model being a productive (and no longer a representative) one, it demolishes any criticism which, once produced, would mix with is: to rewrite the writerly text would consist only in disseminating it, in dispersing it within the field of infinite difference.  The writerly text is a perpetual present, upon which no consequent language…can be superimposed; the writerly text is ourselves writing, before the infinite play of the world (the world as function) is traversed, intersected, stopped, plasticized by some singular system…which reduces the plurality of entrances, the opening of networks, the infinity of languages.  The writerly is the novelistic without the novel…

(Barthes, Roland.  From S/Z: An Essay.  New York: Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, 1974. 3-5.)  Very pretty, but kind of incomprehensible, huh?  When I asked, I was told that he meant “highbrow texts,” but I don’t think that’s right–hence my answer about “tweets.”  However if anyone has a good explanation I’m willing to listen.

This comic is filed under: PQ94 .L86 2010, for French literature–Literary history and criticism–Criticism–By period–20th century–Treatises.  Theory.  History.

Next week I’ll be funnier.

Em ơi! #329: Pronounced “Lup*ton Me*trish”

Fuck you, Chase.  I didn't want the frequent flyer miles anyway.

This isn’t the first time this whole name thing has come up.  See also #307 and #294.

To say I have been somewhat conflicted on this issue is an understatement.  After way too much discussion B and I agreed that “Lupton Metrish,” with no hyphen (B doesn’t like hyphens, I don’t know why) would be a good way to style myself.  Well, that makes it sound like he had a huge say in it.  More like I said, “I’m changing my last name to this” and he said, “As long as you’re happy.”

I’m tempted to call Chase’s inability to get my name correct a form of racism — in many Spanish speaking countries, it’s normal to use two unhyphenated surnames.  Check out Gabriel Garica Marquez or Mario Vargas Llosa.  Even if Chase didn’t operate internationally (in fact, it’s part of J.P. Morgan Chase & Co., and operates in 60 countries), there are doubtlessly immigrants from Spanish-speaking countries in the US who want to maintain their names in the correct form on their VISA cards.  Anyway if it’s not out-and-out racism, it’s certainly obnoxious.

Fun Fact: Apparently Mario Vargas Llosa a) wrote his doctoral thesis on Garcia Marquez and b) later punched him in the face.  No one knows why.

By the way, if you were wondering where to find my second-ever published short story, wonder no more.  Just click to this link at GUD magazine and buy it for $0.50 (or get the whole issue in a nice PDF for $3.50).  It is totally worthwhile.

File this comic under: KF521.L8 2010a

Em ơi!#328: Metacomical

This is why I don't draw feet.I had originally written that I was only seven inches shorter than Bryan (he is six feet even, I am 5′ 3″).  That is clearly wishful thinking.  Luckily (?) he caught it before we went to print (or, before I went to school and scanned this).

I’ll file this comic under BF697.5.S43 L86 2010 for Psychology—Differential psychology.  Individuality.  Self—Special aspects, A-Z—Self-perception.   Sadly, if LC has a heading for “Napoleon Complex,” I can’t find it.

In other news, I’m back to running.  Don’t tell my PT guy.

I’m kidding (sort of).  I’m just running more than his “build up” plan would want me to be doing…but I am taking it relatively easy.  Considering that I could do more than a half marathon without feeling sore before all this started, I’m pretty surprised when I’m aching after a five miler.  My muscles and lungs are still in shape…my ligaments are evidently now used to biking.  I guess it’s not about what I could do, it’s about focusing on the fact that I am allowed to run and have been doing so pain-free.  But this is pretty hard.

Em ơi! #327: That is its Purpose

I also clench my teeth when I'm stressed out, and sometimes in my sleep.

This comic gets filed under RC567.5 L86 2010 for Internal medicine–Neurosciences.  Biological psychiatry.  Neuropsychiatry–Psychiatry–Psychiatric aspects of personality and behavior condition–Drug abuse.  Substance abuse–Caffeine.

CLEARLY.

In other news, Bryan and I are famous.  Check out this email I got promoting a local 5k/10k:

I was trying to figure out a way to do the 5k this year.  It just isn’t going to happen.  The good news is, I went for my first run in two weeks yesterday (and my second today) and my foot seems to be behaving itself.

Em ơi!#326: A Valid Strat

More colored pencils.  I am kind of digging the richness of the color, though it is kind of stylized.

File this one under: HE5736 .L86 2010a, for:

Transportation and communications — Bicycles — General works.

If you were wondering, last week I biked 100.5 miles, not including the 2 hours and 40 minutes I spent on the Spin bike at the gym.  It turns out I can read while on the Spin bike, which increases the appeal a little bit.  This week so far I have biked 20.8 miles; today I took the day off because I had a terrible headache.  I have looked back in my running log through to May and I can’t find a day where I didn’t do something – biking used to be what I did on my day off from running (and many of the other days, too).  So this is odd.  Instead, I baked a loaf of bread using whey from a bottle of goat’s milk I made cheese out of.  I also ate a bunch of cookies and studied MySQL.

It is a magical life, I tell you.

Anyway, with regard to the comic (oh yeah): Bryan eventually realized that I had a flat on my bike and not on my car and helped me call a cab to take me downtown.  I finally found out that my brakes had been rubbing on the rear tire and worn a hole through which the tube squished and subsequently ruptured.  It was a trying day, since I went through two tubes before the bike shop figured out I needed a new tire.

I’m for bed.  I have a new story being published (it is actually available for preview/online purchase right now); I’ll put up more details about that tomorrow or Thursday.

Em ơi! #325: I Did Say That

I really like this one, art-wise.

As I mentioned on Facebook, I won’t be doing a marathon this season, or at least not an official one.  My PT guy has diagnosed me with a depressed cuboid bone and told me to stay off running for two weeks, then follow a slow program of building back up to running 30 minutes at a time for another two weeks.  Given where my training is, there’s no way I can be ready for even the Middleton Marathon at the end of October, and that’s pretty much the end of the season, marathon-wise.  So I guess I’ll train hard over the winter and come back fighting at the Mad City 50k or the Madison Marathon or something.  We’ll see how it goes.

This comic is filed under RC1220.R8 L86 2010, for Internal Medicine—Special situations and conditions—Sports medicine—Medical and physiological aspects of special activities.  By activity, A-Z—Running. This is much the same classification as last week (last week was RC1220.M35), but since shin splints are common to more than just marathon runners, I thought this was more appropriate.

Em ơi! #324: Marathon Misery

I know I’ve been posting little snippits concerning my marathon training.  Last week I didn’t do one for a very simple reason – I ran Monday, and then not again for the whole week.  Apparently, I’ve injured my foot, though the PA I saw didn’t actually give me a diagnosis other than it was “some muscle thing.”  (Thanks.)

Yesterday I did 7.3 mi, and the upshot is I need to keep taking time off until my foot is completely better.  I’m really upset about this, but there’s nothing to be done but wait.  I keep telling myself that I may yet make it to the marathon (though I probably won’t be BQing (i.e., Qualifying for the Boston marathon) – I haven’t run farther than 15 miles in one go in several weeks), and I can always run 26 miles any day I want to when my foot allows it.  But somehow that doesn’t make me feel much better.  In the meantime I’ve been biking, both on my regular bike and the spinning bike at the gym, which helps for calorie burn (a little), but just doesn’t make me happy the way running does.

So it’s rough.  I have to continue taking this one day at a time, which for someone who plans things like I do is painful.  My foot aches when the weather changes, makes strange clicking noises when I go down stairs, and sometimes feels better…only to start hurting again when I’ve gotten my hopes up.  Intellectually I know it’s just one marathon and there will be others…but I haven’t really come to terms with it yet.

This comic is filed under RC1220.M35 L86 2010, for Internal medicine — Special situations and conditions — Sports medicine — Medical and physiological aspects of special activities.  By activity, A-Z — Marathon running.